Sept. 18, 1976
Don't Tracy and I look like babies in this wedding photograph? We must have been. I sure don't feel old enough to have already been married for 36 years.
But 8 kids later, with 18 grandkids and counting, we're pinching ourselves to make sure we aren't imagining the whirlwind this life together has been.
We're celebrating today. Not because our love has been perfect--far from it. We've fought, clawed, and stumbled through a big chunk of this life together. It's a mercy we even made it through the first year, much less through the struggles and temptations and shortcomings that followed.
We knew we didn't have much in common when we started out. Basically, only Jesus. And there were times we wondered if that would be enough.
It was.
So, we're celebrating because Jesus has held us together like glue.
That has been the fulfillment of this Scripture that was printed on the napkins at our wedding: "By Him all things hold together." Col. 1:17 God took two separate, flawed, stubborn individuals and made us one.
Tracy and I couldn't patch up our marriage by ourselves. There wasn't enough duct tape in the world. We'd made too many mistakes. We'd sinned and let each other down. Not just once, but time and time again. Only the Lord could do something deep down where the cracks and broken places cried for His touch.
That would be tremendous enough. But what is even more amazing is that we actually like what He formed from our lives.
Our marriage has become a safe place. A place to grow. A place to take risks. A place to experience unconditional love.
And as we've grown together, we've been so blessed to find that our interests and delights have also merged. No, I still don't like to golf or sleep in a tent, and Tracy isn't going to use his free time to read a novel. But we just like being together. Sharing hearts and going to rummage sales and working side by side at our ministry fund-raisers.
Older, grayer, and more tired--but we're still smiling.
We went from being needy and self-centered to having something to offer one another. It's mature love. Not dependent on fading beauty or charm or what's in the checkbook.
It's not always fun. Sometimes it's just work. And a hard season can sure last a long time.
When somebody sticks with you through all the icky junk, it can be out of a sense of duty. But when that person also wants to wrap his arms around you and tell you he loves you when he's seen you at your worst, that's love. When he reminds you you're still his best friend, that's love. When he'd rather be alone with you than watch tv, that's love. The real deal.
And those sweet words and actions re-ignite the flames of love, giving us the desire to stick it out because we love each other, not just because it's the "right" thing to do.
This morning I felt another Lover wooing me to come away with Him. I have to admit, I felt a little bit like I had nothing to offer Him except my service to Him. I felt like I could identify with the church at Ephesus. They worked diligently for the Lord without growing weary. They were patient. They didn't tolerate evil-doers. They recognized false leaders. Most churches would love to have people like that in attendance! But Jesus said He had one thing against them: they had left their first love for Him. (Rev. 2:1-7)
His remedy for leaving their first love for Him was to remember how it used to be when He was everything to them. Then to repent and do the first works they did back in those days.
I thought back to the early years of giving my life to Jesus. I felt so alive! I couldn't wait to meet with Him as I read His love letter to me (the Bible), sang praises to Him, and lifted my needs to Him. My first works for Him were mostly just getting to know Him. Spending time with Him.
And I was so needy--I was desperate for Him.
So this morning, I asked Him if He expected me to be that needy again. It's hard to feel that way when He has been so good to you through the years . . . I'm satisfied and blessed.
I was surprised to sense that He was asking for a more mature love. Not one based on that old neediness that was all about what He could do for me, nor one that is focused only on what I do for Him.
Tracy feels my love for him most when I open myself to him. Letting down the walls so nothing is hidden. Trusting him with who I am. Admiring him for who he is.
Is it possible that Jesus also feels my love most when I hold nothing back? When I let Him see me, even though I know I'm flawed? When I trust Him and admire the beauty of His character?
Song of Solomon is a picture of the love between a king and His lover. From that story, I know something about the love of my King. His love is better than anything. I can trust Him when He wants to draw me away with Him. I can take off my veil because He knows me better than I know myself, yet He loves me still.
Like Queen Esther, I can prepare myself for His presence by putting on what He has provided for me. The oil of gladness. Robes of righteousness. Even ornaments of gold and studs of silver, which is like the wisdom gleaned from His Word. My sweet perfume is the rising of prayers to His throne.
He lets me rest under the shade of His protection. He satisfies me with a banquet that is provided by His love.
I long for His embrace. He holds the promise of spring and all it entails--life, fruit, blossoms, and singing. He asks me to go with Him to a quiet place in the cleft of the rocks where it's just Him and me. It's a place of belonging, where He is mine, and I am His.
We're one. Held together like glue. It's a miracle of His Spirit, performed at the new birth and made stronger every time we come away with Him.
Kim Jobe's song "The More I Seek You" says it best. This version:
- Choreography: Edouard Lock
- Ballet: La La La Human Steps
- This video made by: Birdiej89
- This video made by: Birdiej89
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